Why I am a Feminist

“Oh but you are a Feminist!” Somebody threw that at me the other day. Like a cold ball of ice, it was meant to deflect intelligent debate on an unconnected topic. It did however get me thinking. Unlike many, I do not flinch from using the word ‘Feminist’ to describe myself.

I distinctly remember my crossover –from keeping comfortable distance with a word of mostly negative connotations, to being a proud wearer of the badge. The transformation took a few minutes. 
I was young and impressionable, working at my first real job on a woman’s portal, over a decade ago.  I was surrounded by a gaggle of women – all loud, opinionated, funny and older than I. In between producing an online Indian Urban Chutnified version of Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, Women’s Health and People, we occasionally put out relevant, interesting pieces. One such piece, written by a friend of one of my colleagues, was titled ‘Why I am Feminist’. It was a short article, made for the web-era of impatient surfers. I remember approaching it with the curiosity of a window-shopper – casually glancing through, with limited intent to buy (into) the idea. However, by the time I was done reading the article, I was sold. I was a Feminist. That much was clear. Whether I embraced ‘The Tag’ or not. Instead of tip-toeing around it, I chose to own it completely-warts and all.
Over time, I went back and read that article several times. Each time, it resonated with me. My colleagues also introduced me to some other feminist writing-much of it relevant, but very yawn worthy. I didn’t need any more conversion, anyway. Eventually, our young dot-com shut down, the gaggle disbanded, and we each moved on with our lives. The web portal that we had put together with love and sweat was brought down the internet and its contents thrown into oblivion. When I started writing this piece, I tried, once again to find the article that transformed me. Unfortunately, except for its’ imprint on my mind, it had left no trace.

So I figured I should revisit my own notions again-after all, much has happened in my life since I was an impressionable 23 year old. I am married for a decade, no longer working full-time, mother to a kid and at 36-hardly impressionable - maybe the coat of feminism does not sit so well on me anymore?

I picked up the Oxford English Dictionary and that defines a feminist as "an advocate or supporter of the rights and equality of women".  

I read up a bit more on Wiki and the other pedia’s out there. Then I decided to pen my beliefs regarding myself, my daughter and all the women I know.

I believe that my daughter should get the same opportunities in life as my son (if I have one). I believe I deserve the same opportunities, choices and decisions as the men in my life.

I believe I am empowered to vote-to decide who will lead my city, my province, my nation.

I believe I have an equal stake in everything my family (parental or spouse) owns.

I believe that I deserve to be paid equal to my male counterpart if I do the same type of work.

I believe I have a right over my life choices. I believe I can choose my partner. I am not a symbol of my father’s, my community’s honor.

I believe I have a say when it comes to my body. I believe I have the right to stand up and say ‘no’ if I am violated physically or sexually.

I believe in a marriage of equals-that my spouse and I make all decisions that affect our lives together.

I believe all the women the world should have the same choices as I.

Am I still a Feminist? Oh yes! I absolutely am. A 100%. But I am hardly alone. My mother is one, and so is my dad. And my husband too. My daughter will be one too. And most women I know, and several men too. We are a large tribe out there. Even if we all dont wear The Tag. Even if we dont all know it. Because what we believe is basic to humanness. Basic to the wellbeing of not just women, but the men in their lives as well- and so, important for everybody. We believe that man and woman are different- but equal. And deserve to be treated as such. We believe that women are one half of the Universe and so should own Half the Sky, Half the Earth, and Half of the Universe. Maybe, you are a Feminist, too?

(‘Half the Sky’ is a Book –and a movement- by Nicholas Kristof and his wife Sheryl WuDunn. I have plagiarized the term in my blog)

(I have titled my Blog ‘Why I am a Feminist’ in memory of the article that changed me.)