Flying Kisses, Flying Time

It started innocently enough..and like most rituals, I can’t put a date to it. She was a tiny kiddy then, by comparison. We played catching the flying kiss at home from time to time..I would blow her a kiss and she would run around the house trying to catch it. She would blow me one..and show fake horror and exclaim that it was stuck on the door , or had fallen on ground..or some such thing, and I would need to retrieve it and tuck it away carefully..She would respond with the brightest giggle and a twinkle in her eye. 
I don’t know when, but we started exchanging flying kisses after she got on the school bus every morning. She would hold my hand at the school bus stop and her height, barely to my chest. She would run in to the bus, to her favorite seat : the 2nd last row corner window seat, and she would turn around and look at me and as the bus started to leave..I would blow her a kiss. She would catch it and then she would blow me one and I would catch it. She will throw me her brightest smile. 
Slowly the years have rolled by..she has grown taller, bigger, wiser. She is almost my height now and she says big things ., and writes about success and patience, and pain, and awkwardness..Words too wise for a soon to be 13 year old. Is her childhood all gone I wonder.. is she all adult now ? But then our childhood ritual of blowing kisses remains - for now..Yesterday, for the first time in a very very long time, she was distracted in the bus..She turned back well after it had left and I don’t know if my kiss reached her or got stuck on the bus somewhere...and it felt strange. I know the tables are turning when I caught myself telling her today ‘Remember to see here today’. I blew her that kiss and she blew one back. ‘She is my baby still’ my heart danced..’ 
How much longer...Time will tell

24 notes for my 7 year old Daughter

1. You are Beautiful. Even with the ‘Dark Skin’. Under the Golden Hair. Don’t let anybody convince you otherwise. (You are actually Golden in Color- but that’s our little secret.There is something called ‘golden’ color. And only some super special people have it. )
2. You are also very funny. And smart. But it’s a tough world out there. You have to work hard if you want to be someone, anyone, someday.
3. Could you please try to idolise Tina Fey instead of Lady Gaga? Even if you don’t know who she is. Or why she is famous. Mama approves of Tina Fey.
4. Don’t be in such a rush to grow up. Enjoy Childhood. Being a child was the most fun I ever had. Adulthood is over-rated. 
5. It bugs me when you try to negotiate everything. Till I remember that it was I that consciously taught you how to negotiate. I am hoping you will eventually put it to good use beyond negotiating your limits with me!
6. Your sweet innocence makes my heart smile a hundred times a day. I know you will one day grow up and you will no longer be this pure. That thought breaks my heart.
7. I have absolutely no idea about how this ‘being a mummy’things works. God never gave me any training. So I am just winging it. In case I screw up real bad, you have my permission to go to a shrink and get yourself fixed, when you are older.
8. You have to be good at Math. And anything else you choose to pursue. Either be the best you can be at it, or dont do it at all.
9. I want to spread my big mama wings around you and protect you from the hurt the world will give you. But I also know that  for you to grow strong -I have to let you fall down, get hurt, dust yourself and pick yourself up-and I will have to do that over and over again. This is the hardest thing I will ever do.
10. It isnt always your fault, when you get a solid scolding. Sometimes, it is just because Mama (or Appu) are having a bad day. But we cant tell you that. (Its not fair, I know..sigh!)
11. Nurture your beauty, but nurture your mind much more. One will last, the other wont. Even with plastic surgery.
12. I am secretly hoping you will never date anybody. That no man (or woman) will touch you. Ever. Well, atleast till you live in my house.
13. Never hurt anybody. Never be mean to anybody. Always help everyone you can. Be Kind. But never let anybody hurt you. And don’t let anybody think they can get away with being nasty to you. Stand up. Give Back. Its OK. You wont be less nice because of it.
14. Forgiveness is wonderful. But you appreciate it better after you have taken revenge a few times and seen what happens. Revenge is wonderful too. Though only briefly.
15. It’s OK to say NO. To the things you don’t want to do. To the things you really really want to try, but are scared you will get into trouble with me. Because you will.
16. It is OK not to please everybody. IT is OK if everybody does not like you. Really. Because the only person that really needs to like you is you.
17. Follow your passion. Be a singer, whatever. And make sure it pays well. Because, I sure am not supporting you after college. (Unless you are trying to be like Tina Fey.)
18. I know I am the mirror through which you see yourself. Your self-image depends on what I reflect back to you. That scares me like hell. 
19. There is just a teeny weeny part of me that sometimes wishes you were a boy. When you get after my jewellery, my make up, my perfume.
20. I am just a tiny bit jealous that you love your daddy itsy bitsy more. Now I wish too I could be as fun as him. But somebody has to do the parenting around here (sigh!).
21. I completely get how much fun cartoons are. I love them too. Especially Tom and Jerry. But I still have to stop you from watching too much TV as that’s what good mums are supposed to do.
22. Kumon is b-o-r-i-n-g as hell. Seriously. And we are thrilled as hell it did not exist when we were your age. You still have to do it, though.  
23. Please keep notes of how I am embarassing you, being mean to you, damaging you. Dont bring it up at odd occasions right now. Save it and discuss with your shrink, when you see one eventually. 
24.  Finally, Mama and Appu love you like crazy. And always will. Even if you dont become like Tina Fey. Or Lady Gaga.