Showing posts with label #LifeLearnings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #LifeLearnings. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Moving from Pune to Mumbai

Today we complete a week in our new city, in our new home. The week before last, as our boxes got packed with our things, and we emptied out a home we had lived in for 6 years, the feeling was wistful, bittersweet. We were packing our belongings, but also our memories of a wonderful time in our lives. We did our many #lasts ; last walk in the verdant Pune university, last misalpav at Bedekars, last chocolate lava cake at JWMarriott, last series of lunches and dinners at friends' homes, friends we will hopefully carry in our hearts forever, but can no longer meet on a whim. Pune is just two hours away from Maximum City Mumbai, and yet, it might be in a different country - so different are the two places. Pune was languid, verdant, hilly, but also proud, cultured and -like it or not - closed to outsiders. Like the walled city Shaniwar wada at its centre - Pune's walls between its insiders and outsiders were high and unbreachable. The insiders all knew each other, or were one connection away from knowing each other. The outsiders were tolerated at best, often just ignored. 

Mumbai - fast, pacy, buzy, and unapologetically commercial, has no time for pride. It is loud in many ways, kitchy in so many others, lacking you may say, the cultural purity of Pune. But Mumbai doesnt quite care. It is too buzy living, wholly and fully, to even notice what anybody thinks about it. Like the ocean it sits beside, it is an ocean of dreams. It is where Indians run towards, if they want to make it in the world, or sometimes to just escape their own. It pulls you into its embrace instantly, but dont expect to be mollycoddled. You immediately join the many millions of anonymous, irrelevant folks jostling for their bit of sunlight in this mighty ocean.

Just as the week before last, was about wrapping up our memories, last and this week have been about unpacking them, and beginning to create our series of #firsts. Our first walk down to Foodhall for an intimate mother daughter meal, our first dinner at home with friends, that first morning walk in the quiet bylanes of our neighbourhood, first stop for pani puri at the world famous in Santacruz Ram & Shyam- chaatwala, first visit to the local Santacruz market, slowly but surely understanding the contours of our neighbourhood, our new home. 
Home is a feeling I have realised. Sitting in that empty house, waiting to hand over the keys back to the land lord, the home that had hugged me when I cried like a baby after my dream for my start-up ended, and the home that sent my mother away on her last journey felt like an estranged friend. I knew its spaces, its contours intimately, but it was no longer mine. 
But when I sat in the empty house in Mumbai, a house that was a complete stranger to me, waiting to welcome my beloved belongings, I felt I was home already. Feeling embraced, like the millions of dream chasers in this Maximum City.

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

The Lonely Onlies


These are the lonely onlies. One half of a perfectly matched pair of earrings. Their partner is no longer there with them. Lost somewhere, somehow. By themselves they appear intact, whole. But without their mate, they are wholly incomplete. Aren’t we - many of us atleast - like these earrings ? We need a partner - a soulmate to make us feel whole. A soulmate - our twin soul - whose presence completes us and whose absence makes us feel like we have lost a part of ourselves. A romantic partner, a best friend maybe, or a sibling. That perfect pairing took years in the making. A quirk got added here, a habit formed there, till we ended up as perfectly matched. Our identity tied to being one half of a pair. Losing our other half then alters us too, permanently. We are then perennially destined to be the lonely onlies- the one half that got left behind. Holding on to memories of another time..and wishing for a past that can never return.

Monday, May 7, 2018

Mentors

On saturday evening Ajit and I went to visit an old boss of Ajit’s. The said gentleman and his wife, are now both retired, and gentleman, lets call him R, now volunteers his time advising and mentoring organisations working in areas he cares about. Having achieved the pinnacle of corporate success, he now leads a buzy life away from the limelight. R has always taken an interest in my career, and when I was working on my start-up, I had sought and he had given freely several hours of his time to give me guidance, mentorship. So it was with a mixture of trepidation, and embarassment that I told him that while the company was around, I no longer worked there. What happened ? He wanted details. I thought I hid my regret, my twinge of shame, when I conceded that the tenure had ended badly, that I had judged people poorly. It’s been a few months and I have truly closed that chapter, but talking about my folly made me a bit self conscious. Now those who know me intimately, know this story of mine well. I have received the entire spectrum of responses from ‘I told you so, to ‘you goofed up’ to ‘I feel so bad for you’ to ‘go kill’em to ‘move on’ , but R did something else completely. He told us two stories from his life. Two passion projects that he gave his time, energy, resources to, within the last 3-4 years. Projects that he moved mountains for over a prelonged period - 1-1.5 years for each project, , but eventually decided to walk away from, for different reasons. He then shared his learnings about himself from these two events, and how he used those learnings to course correct and find a project that did justice to his time and met his criteria. He concluded with ‘If I , at my age, can still learn from my experience, you are still young.’ And just like that , he not only made me feel comfortable in his presence, he helped reframe a key event in my life. A gift ,of well chosen words, of vulnerability, from a person of stature, that made me feel normal, whole. Greatness lies in bending down and lifting the other, even when s/he has nothing to offer in return.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Is our Mind our Home ?

What if our mind was our home, and our thoughts the things and people , we choose to keep inside ? Our thoughts color our emotions, inform our behaviour and drive our actions and therefore, shape our personhood. And yet, we take far less care about who and what we allow into our minds and how long we allow then space, than we do for things and visitors to our home. If I visited your mind and stayed for a day, what would I find ? Would it be dark and dingy or would it be filled with bright sunshine ? Would it be cluttered and messy or would it be neatly organised ? Would there be decaying memories, that you’ve hoarded and are unwilling to throw away or would you have done a thorough housecleaning and let go of all the stuff you don’t need ? Would there be filth - anger, hatred, jealousy, greed etc - or would it be decorated with love, faith, ambition, hard work,friendship ? Would there be photos of the ones you love? Or would you have framed and hung images of those you hate ? We are very careful about the things we pick out for our houses, we clean our home regularly, take out the trash, periodically dispose the things we no longer need and do everything we can to keep it clean and beautiful. We take even greater care inviting people into our home. Do we like them, do we trust them , are they our friends ? Our home is only the collection of our physical possessions. Our minds, the collection of thoughts and memories that define our personhood. And yet, we take such little care of our thoughts. A wise person once said ‘Change your thoughts and you transform your life’.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Life Rules :

If you could distill all of life into a handful of learnings..what would they be ? For me they are : 
Learn to speak the truth. To yourself first. 
Learn to listen. To your inner voice. And the Universe. 
Learn to think. For yourself. And about others.
Learn to feel. Deeply. Truly. In your bones.
Learn to learn. Anything. At any age. 
Learn to be gentle. With your words and actions.
Learn to forgive. Yourself too. 
Learn to work hard. Love Work.
Learn to rejoice. At things big and small.
Learn to laugh. At life. At yourself. 
Learn to bounce back. Be unbreakable.
Learn to believe. To dream. To hope. To trust.
Learn to be grateful. Every Single Day. 
Learn to Love. With Passion and Abandon.