Today morning, as we were returning after seeing our daughter off at the airport , to a 3 week residential summer camp, we saw her plane soaring up into the sky. ‘There she flies, your birdie’, my husband remarked. And then in a softer tone, he added ‘she has big wings, your birdie. Soon she will fly away’. And he gave voice to what I have privately known about Trayi : she has big wings. She needs them too, to give flight to her soaring ambition and to her sky high dreams.
I should have probably feel a twinge of sadness when Ajit made that observation, but all I felt was pride. And gratitude.
Pride because I have seen Trayi in the days leading up to today. She has started practicing already, taking charge of her life. She took charge of her packing : making a detailed list of things she needed to carry, and then meticulously packed her things. She took care of everything : her music play list, her drum practice pads, her kindle, her formal clothes for the convocation , her passport sized photos - every little thing. She seemed to be saying : Don’t worry about me mommy, I am ready to fly.
And I felt gratitude. Gratitude because I have been able to pass on to my daughter, the large wings that my mother made for me. She didn’t inherit wings, my mom. When she grew up, sheltered and cocooned, wings were not something the girls got. They were protected by chaperones from the world outside and from their own dreams by the elders inside.
She didn’t remember her childhood fondly, Amma. She spoke of quashed desires and unfulfilled dreams. And maybe that is why, almost with a vengeance, she imbued in me all her dreams and so many of her desires. And then just for fun, she gave me some more. And alongwith those dreams, she also knitted for me big large wings to fly , so I reach for them. She freed me in ways that was not only ahead of her generation, but also alien in her mileau.
Had my mom played it safe, by the rules she had been taught to follow : maybe today, my daughter wouldn’t have flown with her big large wings.
Happy Mother’s Day Amma.
Happy Anniversay Venkataraman Mani and Amma !
I should have probably feel a twinge of sadness when Ajit made that observation, but all I felt was pride. And gratitude.
Pride because I have seen Trayi in the days leading up to today. She has started practicing already, taking charge of her life. She took charge of her packing : making a detailed list of things she needed to carry, and then meticulously packed her things. She took care of everything : her music play list, her drum practice pads, her kindle, her formal clothes for the convocation , her passport sized photos - every little thing. She seemed to be saying : Don’t worry about me mommy, I am ready to fly.
And I felt gratitude. Gratitude because I have been able to pass on to my daughter, the large wings that my mother made for me. She didn’t inherit wings, my mom. When she grew up, sheltered and cocooned, wings were not something the girls got. They were protected by chaperones from the world outside and from their own dreams by the elders inside.
She didn’t remember her childhood fondly, Amma. She spoke of quashed desires and unfulfilled dreams. And maybe that is why, almost with a vengeance, she imbued in me all her dreams and so many of her desires. And then just for fun, she gave me some more. And alongwith those dreams, she also knitted for me big large wings to fly , so I reach for them. She freed me in ways that was not only ahead of her generation, but also alien in her mileau.
Had my mom played it safe, by the rules she had been taught to follow : maybe today, my daughter wouldn’t have flown with her big large wings.
Happy Mother’s Day Amma.
Happy Anniversay Venkataraman Mani and Amma !
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